Communicating with a Loved One Who Has Dementia
As dementia progresses, conversations can become frustrating for everyone. Your loved one may lose words, repeat questions or say things that aren’t true. A few changes in how you communicate can make a big difference in reducing stress and keeping your connection strong.
Set the stage
- Approach from the front, make eye contact and say their name.
- Turn off the TV or move to a quiet spot.
- Introduce yourself if needed: “Hi Dad, it’s Susan, your daughter.”
- Get down to eye level if they are sitting.
Keep it simple
- Use short sentences and one idea at a time.
- Ask yes-or-no questions or offer two choices: “Would you like the blue sweater or the red one?”
- Give one step of a task at a time.
- Allow plenty of time for an answer. Silence is okay.
Respond to feelings, not facts
If your mother asks where her late husband is, correcting her may cause her to grieve all over again. Instead, respond to the emotion: “You’re thinking about Dad. Tell me about him.” Arguing about facts rarely helps; comfort and reassurance usually do.
Watch your body language
People with dementia often pick up on tone and facial expressions even when words are hard to follow. A calm voice, a smile and a gentle touch can say more than words.
When questions repeat
Repetition often comes from anxiety. Answer calmly, then try a distraction, such as a snack, a walk, music or a favorite activity. Writing the answer on a card or whiteboard can help, too.
Avoid quizzing
Questions like “Do you remember who I am?” or “What did you have for lunch?” can feel like tests and cause embarrassment. Offer information instead: “I heard you had soup for lunch. Was it good?”
Be kind to yourself
No one communicates perfectly every time. If a conversation goes badly, take a break and try again later. Each day is a new start.
Have questions about memory care for someone you love? Call Generations Senior Living at (352) 474-2696 or schedule a tour of one of our three homes near The Villages.
